Posted on June 18, 2010: Should I say anything to a disruptive parent?
A Responsible Sports Fan suggested the following Scenario Question:
You are at a youth hockey game and notice a parent running along the boards during the play of the game yelling instructions to his team. At stoppage of play, he bangs on the glass to get the players attention and continues to yell instruction to the player. The players are not paying atention to him and he is upsetting the people in the stands watching the game. Do you say anything to him or anyone else about his actions?
Dear Marty,
The quick answer to your question is, “Yes!” Someone needs to address the actions of this parent running along the boards yelling at the players. Your approach depends on your relationship with this parent and your role in the organization. If you have a good personal relationship with this parent, this may be as easy as approaching him and asking him if you can talk to him for a second.
Keeping this “intervention” as calm and low key as possible is a plus. You might ask him if he’d be willing to sit down and talk with you for a second. This will serve the dual purpose of stopping his yelling, and it will give you a way to talk with him in a less confrontational way (as standing face to face can seem more confrontational). When you two sit down, it will also cause the other parents to take their focus off you, which may help this parent feel less threatened by you approaching him about his behavior.
You can start with a benign question like, “What do you think of the game so far?” He may use this as a chance to complain about the team’s performance. Take time to let him vent a bit. Then let him know you’re uncomfortable with his actions of running up and down the boards, yelling at the kids. If he pushes back and maintains his actions are appropriate, then it’s time to elevate this concern to the coaches or the league/arena leadership.
For more, please visit the Responsible Sport Parenting Guide.
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